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Juicy Chicken Breast – You Suck at Cooking (episode 65)


When you’re cooking a chicken breast, step one is to make sure that it’s ripe. The way you do that is just give it a nice gentle toss *chicken breast flutters away* *sigh* That one wasn’t quite ripe. Alright, so let’s check this one… That one’s perfect. Next you want to take a few minutes and come to terms with the fact that you might die of salmonella poisoning. Make sure you write out your will so all your earthly belongings will end up in the right place “I hereby bequeath my 2011 MacBook Pro to cousin Tom” If you’re worried about bacteria spreading, you can always dip your hands in turpentine while you cook. You can also wear paper towel gloves, which is really handy ’cause you’re gonna want to dry your chicken off then burn them to the ground. Then immediately make your chicken wet again with some olive oil then add in some salt and pepper pepper pepper Changjangle that until it’s evenly coated, then throw it onto a parchment papered pan. The key to making a juicy chicken breast is to cook it hot and fast, not slow and stupid. That’s why the undoh’s on four hundoh. (400 F, 204 C) We’re going to throw this in there for 20 minutes. Tops. Peace Be With You One way to make sure your chicken is safe is to cook it until it’s black all the way through. This is safest because salmonella cannot survive on the color black. As soon as it comes out of the oven you can see that that’s too much oil. Another way to make sure your chicken is safe is to cook it until it’s 165 degrees. (74 C) You can use a food thermometer to make sure it reaches that temperature. if you don’t want to get your thermometer all dirty, simply heat up a Power Stone until it’s 165 degrees, then touch it with your finger and quickly touch the inside of the chicken to make sure they’re the same temperature. Disclaimer: Do not actually do that. When chicken isn’t overcooked and just has salt, pepper, and olive oil on it it tastes really, really good. You can also put a chicken breast in a bowl with some olive oil, salt, pepper pepper pepper, and whole grain mustard. Chanjangle that around and also throw that in the oven for 20 minutes on four hundo. And also with you. And I know some of you out there are gonna say, “Hey. “Mustard is for hot dogs.” and to that I say you’re right. Which is why I put my whole grain mustard chicken breast on my hot dog. You can also make a hummus encrusted chicken breast. Cover your chicken with your favourite hummus or cover it with a boring hummus and add smoked paprika and cumin. When it’s done, grab your baby carrot sticks and dip. Or just eat that delicious chicken. But I really cannot emphasize just how juicy the chicken comes out when you bake it this way. sooo juicy so juicy!! So juicy!! soooooooooooooooooo juicyyyyyyyyyyy sooooooooooooooooooo juicyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ♬ Sitting, in the kitchen ♬ ♬ with some chicken, and ♬ ♬ Wishing that you were here ♬ ♬ We can sit around and maybe share a beer ♬ ♬ I play with your hair then stare into your ears cuz I like you and I like chicken ♬ ♬ But it don’t taste the same when I’m sitting here missing you. ♬ I like you and I like ♬ ♬ Spaghetti, so get over here get out of my head already ♬ ♬ You suck at cooking oh my god ♬ you suck, you suck ♬ ♬ at ♬ ♬ cookiiiiing~ ♬ ♬ Oh my god you suck ♬

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